Counselling on the Isle of Wight: How to Find the Right Counsellor for You
Deciding when (and how) to start counselling, particularly when it’s the first time seeking mental health support, can be a process filled with confusion and questions. How do you know if you actually need counselling? Are you wasting time and money starting therapy if you’re just feeling a bit down, stuck or fed up with life? And how do you actually go about finding a counsellor, particularly on the Isle of Wight, where according to Counselling Directory, there are 234 counsellors listed.
In this article, I’m going to guide you through the process of deciding whether counselling might be helpful, give you an overview of the main types of approaches available, explain the difference between a counsellor and psychotherapist, give some tips on finding a qualified and reputable counsellor on the Isle of Wight, and give a sense of what to expect from a first session.
I will try and make this information as unbiased as possible. I am a counsellor myself practicing in Newport on the Isle of Wight. While I strongly believe in my own therapeutic approach and the work I do with clients, more than anything, I would like this article to be of service to anyone who is struggling with their mental health, is interested in trying counselling, but doesn’t know where to start.
What is Counselling?
There are a lot of misconceptions about what counselling actually is, with the word itself perhaps implying that a counsellor or therapist will be giving advice to the clients they see. This rarely happens, as in its simplest form, counselling provides a safe space for someone to share their struggles with a qualified mental health professional who is skilled at listening deeply and without judgement. In a world where people find it increasingly difficult to truly listen, the mere act of being heard with the full presence of a compassionate other, can help us understand ourselves better, as well as feeling like we have a real ally in our corner, rooting for us to overcome our difficulties. So if you are hoping that a counsellor will offer advice and tell you what you need to do with your life, counselling might not be for you and a more directive approach such as coaching may be more appropriate.
Do I Need Counselling?
Life can sometimes feel a bit like an uphill battle, particularly at the moment when many of us are struggling with the cost of living crisis and what can feel like a general atmosphere of gloom and doom.
More often than not, after a set back, we just get back on our feet and keep going. There are times though when it can just feel like there have been just too many knocks in a row, making it increasingly hard to get back on our feet and move forward. This might result in all sorts of thoughts going round our heads that we feel we can’t share with friends or loved ones. It’s especially important at times like these to have a confidential space to make sense of how we’re feeling.
Other times, from the outside it can seem like we have everything in life that should make us happy; the marriage, the house, the children, the professional career. And yet, there’s still a nagging sense that something doesn’t quite feel right. Again, it can be hard to share these feelings when we know there are people in the world who are “much worse off.” But rather than there being something wrong to be fixed, these feelings of dissatisfaction can be an invitation to find the courage to make some changes in our lives. Again, having a therapeutic space to explore these feelings is vital.
Many people seek counselling or therapy because they find themselves repeating the same patterns or mistakes over and over again, especially in relationships. Or perhaps, they feel like they struggle with confidence or self esteem in particular areas of life such as in their work or again in relationships. They may suspect that events in their childhood are still affecting their lives as an adult, even though traumatic events such as neglect, abuse or violence may have happened several decades ago.
Again, counselling gives the space to understand how our past continues to impact our present life, helping clients to understand the patterns they are not fully aware of, where they come from, and how to transform them.
So if you are feeling like things just aren’t right, you struggle to find enjoyment in life or you are repeating the same unhealthy patterns over and over, then yes, starting counselling could be a positive step to take.
Which Counselling Approach Do I Choose?
If you’ve already done a search for counsellors on the Isle of Wight, you may well have felt a bit bamboozled by the different terms and approaches used by therapists. While most counsellors will at the very least be skilled listeners, there are a dizzying array of types of therapies which can be hard for the lay person to decipher. Here are some of the more common approaches:
Person-Centred Counselling
Person-centred counselling is an approach developed by psychologist Carl Rogers, based on the belief that people have an innate capacity for growth and change when offered the right conditions. The counsellor provides a warm, empathetic and non-judgemental space where you can explore your feelings and experiences at your own pace. Rather than giving advice or directing you towards particular solutions, they seek to understand your perspective and help you develop greater self-awareness and trust in your own judgement. This approach may suit you if you want to feel heard and accepted, and value the freedom to find your own way forward.
Psychodynamic Counselling
Psychodynamic counselling explores how past experiences, particularly early relationships, can influence your feelings, behaviour and relationships in the present. It recognises that some of our emotional patterns and conflicts may operate outside conscious awareness, shaping how we respond to ourselves and others. Through exploring these patterns within the therapeutic relationship, you can develop a deeper understanding of yourself and why you may find yourself repeating certain difficulties. This approach may suit you if you want to explore the roots of your difficulties and gain insight into how your past may be affecting your present life.
Psychosynthesis Counselling
Psychosynthesis is a holistic approach (in which I am trained) to counselling that explores the connection between your thoughts, emotions, body and deeper sense of self. It recognises that we are more than our difficulties and symptoms, helping you develop greater self-awareness, understand recurring patterns and connect with your personal values and sense of purpose. Alongside exploring past experiences and present challenges, psychosynthesis encourages you to recognise your strengths, develop your potential and make more conscious choices about how you live. It can be particularly helpful if you feel stuck, are navigating a life transition or are seeking a deeper sense of meaning, authenticity and fulfilment.
CBT
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a structured, goal-oriented approach that explores how your thoughts, feelings and behaviours influence one another. It helps you identify unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour that may be contributing to difficulties such as anxiety, depression or low self-esteem. Working collaboratively with your therapist, you develop practical strategies and techniques to respond to challenging situations in new ways. CBT may suit you if you prefer a focused, active approach with specific tools to help you manage difficulties and make changes in your everyday life.
Integrative Counselling
Integrative counselling brings together ideas and techniques from different therapeutic approaches to create a way of working that responds to your individual needs. Rather than following a single model, an integrative counsellor draws on different perspectives to explore your thoughts, feelings, relationships and experiences. The approach can be adapted as your needs change, allowing space for both understanding the roots of difficulties and finding practical ways to move forward. Integrative counselling may suit you if you value a flexible, personalised approach that considers you as a whole person rather than focusing on one aspect of your experience.
What’s the Difference Between Counselling and Psychotherapy?
Another area of confusion is understanding the difference between counseling and psychotherapy, with the terms often used interchangeably. In general, a mental health professional who describes themselves as a psychotherapist has undergone more years of training than a counsellor, with most counsellors completing their training (including placements in 2-4 years) and psychotherapists in 4-6 years. Likewise, most counsellors will have completed 100 supervised client hours in order to qualify, while psychotherapists a more substantial 450.
Other than the training, some people see counselling as more short term work, focussing on specific issues such as self esteem or bereavement, whereas psychotherapy tends to be more open ended, works at greater depth and can continue for several months, if not years. That being said, as a psychosynthesis counsellor I see clients both for short term and long term work.
How to Find a Qualified Counsellor on the Isle of Wight
There are various ways to find a qualified counsellor on the Isle of Wight. Most counsellors are registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) the main regulatory body for counsellors in the UK. If a counsellor is listed as a member of the BACP, you can guarantee that they have graduated from a BACP accredited course and abide by the BACP ethical framework. So searching the BACP therapist directory is a good way to find a qualified counsellor.
Likewise, the therapist directories Counselling Directory and Psychology Today only list counsellors who are members of professional bodies such as the BACP, UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) or the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS) and all have search functions where you can select the criteria such as geographical location and specialisms.
Some people like to go on recommendations from friends, family or even Facebook. It can be helpful to hear that someone has benefitted from working with a particular therapist, but always do your own due diligence and check their professional accreditations. It’s also worth noting that counselling is a very personal experience, and part of its “success” is finding someone with whom you feel comfortable, which is not always guaranteed in a recommendation.
How Much Will Counselling Cost?
Many people come to private counselling because they have been unsuccessful in getting free of charge counselling or therapy through the NHS. On the Isle of Wight, it is possible to self refer to NHS Talking Therapies, but unfortunately, it can be many months before you are at the top of the waiting list and can begin counselling.
In these instances, if someone would like to begin therapy immediately, it is usually necessary to enter into counselling privately, which of course incurs a cost. Counselling on the Isle of Wight, costs anywhere between £40-£70 depending on the therapist. If for your own financial reasons this is unaffordable, some therapists, myself included, offer low cost therapy for a limited number of clients, so it’s worth getting in touch to see if they have any affordable counselling slots available.
Contacting a Counsellor
So, you’ve narrowed down the counsellor who best fits your needs (sometimes it can be as simple as feeling drawn to their photo), but what happens next?
These days, counsellors often offer a free 15 minute discovery call with prospective clients. This can be a great way to get a sense of whether you feel you could be comfortable with a therapist and is also an opportunity to ask any questions you may have. You are absolutely under no obligation to commence therapy at this stage and it is always advisable to go away and think about whether you would like to set up an initial session.
What to Expect from a First Session
In the first session, most counsellors will take a detailed history of why you are reaching out for support, what you would like to work on and a little about how life was growing up, significant relationships, any past trauma, as well as GP details, medication etc. They will also explain about the confidential nature of the sessions and how any personal information is stored. In exceptional circumstances, such as when there is a serious risk of harm to a client, or where disclosure is legally required, a counsellor may need to share relevant information with appropriate people.
While counselling hasn’t officially commenced in this first session, it will give you a sense of whether you might feel comfortable with the counsellor and again, if this is not the case, you are under no obligation to continue sessions.
Counselling with Mary Biles
I hope this article has been a helpful guide on your counselling journey. If you are interested in discussing the possibility of starting counselling with me, either in Newport, Isle of Wight or online, I would be delighted to set up a 15 minute discovery call to see whether my approach might be a good fit for your needs.
Please note, if you are in serious mental distress and need urgent support, please contact 111 and select option 2.